...the ceremony

Letting go of the old and starting anew...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxqvjW0zYFg

In sync or speaking another language... or both...

Ahhh the difference in how the sexes speak... It's inevitable I suppose. I'm figuring that you should consider yourself lucky if you find someone who is on the same ~wavelength~ 'most' of the time. After all, we are all individuals with unique thoughts, theories and beliefs. Something I believe strongly is that two differing thoughts do not indicate one is right and one is wrong - they are merely, different.

Compromising to respect one another's different thoughts is ideal - (it's not a win or lose situation) it all depends on how much you want the end result to flow together. I try very hard to step back and look at the big picture, however I too am guilty of being sucked into spiral thinking when emotions run high & I feel passionate about something. There are many situations where we mentally weigh the situation & strive to see the 'how will we ever meet' on certain topics. I suppose, if you are trying to see the how in working through your differences.. you are likely making your relationships and communications stronger for it.

Human nature.. what you believe, you achieve - don't they say? So when do you decide to feel weaker and BEND? When do you stand your ground? When do you cross over? I think the best bet is to always TRY to put yourself in the other person's position - as difficult as that may be, it will usually grant you with some sort of appreciation. Appreciating one another's view points (whether or not you ultimately agree) is the best form of compassion and will lead to a common respect regardless of whether or not you agree.

Some topics may have you distanced so far from one another that it brings up the point that men and women will always speak different languages. I hate to generalize though, I'd rather believe that it all comes down to circumstance. If it's not a 'deal breaker' situation, then take it as an 'issue' & do not allow it to rupture your entire relationship. For me, it always comes down to whether or not I am feeling 'good' most of the time.. or not. That is my indicator. However, there are moments where we all have to fall before we can pick ourselves back up again. That's just a part of life..

In the end, there is much to be left up to interpretation... clarity and compassion are always key.

Looking for advice? Anonymously email your questions to chicktidbits@live.ca, comment, subscribe, vote.. and check back soon ;o)

Cheers... (no kisses n' hugs today)

...and the award for the most romantic proposal ever goes to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNYs3vR-qYg

Ahhhh leave it to a gay man to know exactly how to do it ;o) That scene literally gives me goosebumps and I've watched it several times now!!! Simple, honest.. touching. A moment in time that will forever be remembered. No fancy restaurant, no crowd of people, no outrageous display - genuine... how refreshing is that?!

Share your thoughts? Comment.. email.. chicktidbits@live.ca subscribe..

Cheers xo!

Ahhh love... it's good stuff...

So, this article made me nod my head several times... some interesting little tid bits about how we are affected by love.

http://msn.chemistry.com/msnarticles/25-love-factoids?trackingid=508259&bannerid=2002322&GT1=26000

After enduring the end of an engagement & the dissolution of a marriage in my lifetime, the man I have now found definitely has the 'it' factor. How does one know this, well there are many ways - one of which is certainly having the experience of past relationships. Growing platforms, hopefully leading you to the right person or to learn more about what you want in the 'right person'. Once you know it, everything else seems to fit.

Side note here: If you really love someone, the feelings of 'love'... and this is important... LAST. There should be no compromising on that point. Comfort level should only indicate a deeper more lasting love - that continues to make you feel GOOD... otherwise, it's indifference. I believe, when you are truly in love, you find yourself doing whatever it takes to keep it strong and growing.. and feeling the way it should...

That's my $0.02 for today folks... email chicktidbits@live.ca for anonymous advice/tips, subscribe... comment!!

Cheers xo!

Good tips to ponder.. and a little splash of my own thoughts on point 16

16 things it took me over 50 years to learn:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

3. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. (Ahhh Zeitgeist - love a challenge, wake up peeps!)

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one isvery important) Rhythm or not fellas - shake it, it's a huge turn on!!

7. Never lick a steak knife. Lotsa better things to lick ;op

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11. ...or 33 ;o)

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.(This is very important. Pay attention. It NEVER fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway. and ALWAYS

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic. But a genius built the sybian lol!!!

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes;and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with... I prefer: Men are like fine wine.. pick a good one and savour it!!! Let it fill you up and warm your insides ;o)

Cheers xo!!!

Remember to vote, comment, subscribe, email ??'s chicktidbits@live.ca

Losing friends via divorce...

Never, did I EVER think it would happen to me. My friends were CLOSE.. I mean like SISTERS to me. They saw my wounds from a loveless marriage. They endured the pain with me.. they consoled me.. they empathized.. they AGREED that I had to get out. I had three sister-like friends - closer then close.. people I thought I would know well into my 90's. One I had known for almost 30 years, another for 20 and the final 'sister-friend' I had been inseparable with for 10 years. We experienced so much together - growing up.. getting married.. having babies.. having marital issues.. and yes, I was the only one who went through with leaving. Biggest balls in the bunch! And lovingly, they would have agreed with that sentiment. Out of these three sister-friends.. only one now remains. Sad.. isn't it.. people told me that would happen and I still didn't believe it could be.

These sister-friends knew my pain inside & out. They knew that my spirit would endure all that would come with regards to leaving my marriage. They clearly saw it.. everything that was so wrong. I dug deep, I saw a very bright light at the end of the tunnel and I knew the ones I loved most would be there waiting for me and seeing me through. And now.. there is one..

Then two sister-friends turned their backs once I was out.. once the dust had settled and I had moved on with my new life - and they saw that I was happy.. that I was decent towards my ex-husband.. that I was making the best life for my children and myself.. THIS is when they turned. Were they jealous that I got out and bettered my life as I said that I would??? Were they unable to accept that I had a new man who was everything I'd dreamed of?? Those who know me best know that I love intensely, that I am all-giving.. but cross me and cut me one too many times and I will never give you a second thought. I do expect to get what I give.. and you know what, we all should.. I expect the people I allow to get THAT close to be there for me as intensely and loyally as I would be for them. Why should there be any exceptions to that?

I can say, with everything I have been through.. I do not harbour any regrets. I hold my head high and still feel that burning spirit inside that will carry me through. For those who choose to judge me or cause me pain.. I know you will feel the void of my friendship. It will be a lesson.

And now, I hold tightly and ever more appreciatively to my closest friends.. I keep faith in myself that I will live my best life without allowing negative opinions to influence me.. and be proud that I've found the strength to do so.

So, if you find you are a friend of someone who is enduring separation or divorce.. listen.. be supportive.. it's THEIR life.. and you are their friend.. treat them as you would want to be treated and supported in return. Opinions and judgements aside - however, that's a recipe for a good friendship regardless of what one may be going through.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9467&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=7&GT1=26000

Email your questions.. ask my opinion.. comment.. subscribe ;o)

Cheers xo!

Divorced.. and I still believe in happily ever after...

I've been separated for about 2 years now. It was a testament to keeping my faith in deserving the ~happily ever after~ I've always believed was possible. It's a part of my fundamentals, keeping a hope that *truly happy* is a real concept, it does exist.. and that I would have that in my life.

Speak to anyone who initiated a separation or divorce.. it's not about 'giving up' or 'throwing in the towel' - it's about fighting to save yourself. There are so many people who are not strong enough to muster the internal strength it takes to get out of a bad marriage/relationship. When you resign yourself to staying in a situation that is unhappy, survival mode kicks in and many people become mere shells of what they once were... now just going through the motions... stuck.

Losing my Mother at a young age has given me an internal drive that is 'all too aware' that life is much too short & for what little time we have, we owe it to ourselves to make the most if it. I left my marriage with two young children in tow. I was well aware that being a shell of myself in my marriage would only lead me to being a shell of a mother too - survival mode does that to a person. I knew I deserved better, I knew my children deserved better... and the stirring inside of me *believed* that 'happily ever after' existed... that we are all capable of attaining it.

Many people become jaded and lose faith in the 'happily ever after' scenario when they've endured the pain of divorce. That is a warranted stance - however, at some point if you want to have a genuinely happy relationship in your life again - you have to leave those negative connotations in your past. After all, no one would expect you to remarry your ex - and most would hope that you'd find someone that made you *believe* once again.

Enduring the pain of divorce warrants it - you can endure! Moving on from divorce means truly accepting the vulnerability and believing you can trust your happiness once again with a new person. No one can predict what tomorrow will bring - but don't you think, believing it will be happy - might just make today's outlook a little more enjoyable - then anticipating repetitive doom. Yeah... exactly!

Cheers xo!