A little somethin' new to think about...

Welcome to the blog of a chick who feels best while strutting in heels ;o)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Lingerie ...a MUST!!!

Ahhh lingerie! The topic crossed my mind as I was planning what to pack for an upcoming trip & getting excited about some of the kinky 'night time play' outfits I will bring! To state the obvious, men LOVE it. Let's face it, the whole purpose of lingerie is dressing up to entice sex! What man wouldn't LOVE that kind of eye catching invitation? Thing is, not a lot of women want to put in the effort of lingerie - I guess they figure, putting out is good enough - NEVER I say! Lingerie isn't ONLY for the guys...

It's true that many women are self conscious about their bodies so, the thought of wearing lingerie to invite attention to your body can be a daunting thought for some. Thing is, there are so many different styles of lingerie that there is something flattering for every shape! Plus, most guys are so excited by the thought of having sex and would be SO jacked to see the effort to be sexy for him has been made - they don't focus in on the flaws that we see in ourselves ladies! Really! Plus, if you are self conscious about your body, there is amazing lingerie out there that can enhance the good stuff and distract from the worrisome areas. The bottom line is that men are VISUAL creatures and lingerie adds to the excitement of being tempted - it's a GOOD thing!

I'm a 'gotta match' the bras & thong kinda gal - it's a little thing but it counts (and who knows when you'll ever get in a car accident - who wants to be seen with ratty ol' panties on?! Won't be me!!). I like to make sure I have a good selection of nice bra/thong sets to choose from and mix em' up often. However, lingerie is different - it's not something I wear every day but it is something I wear often enough to need a small drawer to store all of my 'pretties' in lol! I find when I wear lingerie it sets a state of mind. It arouses the sexual prowess within! I've got everything from dress up costumes - darque cowgirl, naughty school girl, daisy duke - to cute little lace camisoles - sweet little teddies - right into corsets, garters & all! I like to play... guilty as charged! The thing is, with all of these options I've collected along the way - I get to 'dress up' for whatever mood may strike. And ladies, here's the key - there is something about slipping into lingerie that creates a mind set - lingerie is sexy - and that's just it - it MAKES you FEEL sexy when you wear it. If you aren't sure, give your man a lil' show and you'll be sure about your sex appeal soon enough!!!

Guys, I think it's a very fine line when it comes to buying lingerie for your lady. In fact, I think you have to know her VERY well to buy her the right stuff. Never mind sizing being an issue for most guys when buying lingerie for their lady - but it can come across as intimidating to a woman to have a guy WANT to see her in something if she's not quite sure of it herself. There are however, ways in which to encourage your lady to wear somethin' fun in the bedroom. Tell her you would really love to buy her something sexy but that you want her to choose it and surprise you with what she likes - Encourage her as to how sexy you know she'll look. I figure that's a win-win situation as she gets to chose something she likes and YOU will ultimately benefit when it's on the bedroom floor - am I right?!? ;o)

As for men, I am not a huge fan of seeing a guy in a man-thong. I mean, there is just something not so MANLY about that for me. I'm a boxer-briefs fan but what guys CAN do is make sure you've got some nice undies yourself. If you don't want your woman wearing old cotton granny undies with holes in them - then you need to set the bar. Women take notice when a guy looks good in his undies too. However, I secretly would love to find my guy with a bow tied around himself underneath (I know, I'm twisted but it's all good!).

Bottom line is, sometimes the effort put into the wrapping can make the present underneath SO much more appreciated!!!!!

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Happy lingerie wearing 2 u!

Chick xo

Monday, December 15, 2008

Regular sex doesn't guarantee a good sex life... it's all about SPICE!

Sex, it’s the one thing that connects a couple above and beyond all other relationships in your life. So, happy couples who are close and connected ARE the ones having sex, and having it often. This, we know... right? And by often I mean, MORE than once a week. So, if you’ve achieved that continuous connection in your relationship and you’ve got regular, good sex going on – you’ve got it made right? You’ve figured it out and are STILL doing better than most couples out there right? Sure – you CAN say that – but if you really think about it, you can admit that regular sex – however wonderful, can often mean ROUTINE sex – which is NOT always so wonderful.

It’s good to know what you like, but that doesn’t mean that starting off in the same position or using the same moves and finishing style is what’s gonna keep things hot and spontaneous. Might be great to be able to say you and your partner have sex every other day but if it’s ROUTINE sex it may as well be once a week. Routine sex can make even good sex go bad. This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours on foreplay or do handstands in the bedroom – but it does mean that you each have to put a little thought and spunk into things – keep it SPICEY!

Start off differently, don’t ONLY have sex in the bedroom, rip his pants off in the middle of the kitchen one day! Bend her over the couch.. don’t ask if it’s time for sex.. just GET INTO IT! Sure, it’s the most comfortable to have sex in your bedroom, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore a hot screw on the staircase on your way up there – railings were MADE to be clung to!! We all have our favourite positions but switching things up and trying something new is always fun! Imagine if every time you watched TV it was the same episode of your favourite TV show.. what keeps people INTERESTED is not always knowing what comes next – take that train of thought and apply it to your bedroom fun ;o)

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Chick xo

Friday, December 5, 2008

Dirty talk... Gotta give it a try!!!

Dirty talk... Isn't it true that every guy wants his sweet, innocent girlfriend to become a MINX in the bedroom? To turn into that wicked vixen who dishes the smuttiest bedroom talk ever?! OF COURSE it's true!! (Ladies, even if he DOESN'T admit it). So here are a few tips from a chick who knows a thing 'r' 2 about a thing 'r' 2 ;o)

First of all there are a few things to think about with regards to dirty talk.. Dirty talk is NOT for everyone. If it's delivered 'half-assed' then it's just NOT gonna have the effect you want it to have. You've got to be CONVINCING and believable when it comes to your trashy bedroom talk. These aren't the soft 'I love you's' that you can save for AFTER.. I'm talking about raw, uninhibited, animalistic and SLUTTY talk! If you're gonna go this route - you've got to be 'all in'.

This is the time to dig deep and expose the inner sex maniac!! Trust me, every man wants to hear it but they also don't want to hear you giggle after you get started with your 'talk' - Buy into it people! Have a glass of vino before perhaps, let any shy feelings fall away before you make the dirty talk attempt. There are so many things you can say.. start with a simple 'f.ck me baby' and see how JACKED up he gets from that alone! I'm sure the response you get will encourage you to say even more. If you are in a very secure relationship you will find this easier to do, you can feel safer exposing your fantasies during sex while using dirty talk. A safe bet is to talk dirty about how good it feels and how horny he's making you.. talk about his 'parts' and what he's doing. A simple "I love how hard you are when you f.ck me" could blow his mind!!! You don't have to shout this stuff out so the neighbours hear you - even whispering it into his ear will make him crazy ;o) Start slow and see where your comfort levels are and gauge how he reacts - build on it from there.

Even if you have been in a relationship for years and have never tried this before - it's not a part of your sex routine - it's never too late to try! In fact, keeping things HOT and FRESH is so key in long term relationships - give it a go!

Some women may roll their eyes if they are reading this. So, let me be clear - dirty talk is not something that you do ALL THE TIME... anything that you do 'constantly' can lose it's 'edge and effect' which is NOT what you want. This is a 'once in a while' 'toss it in & drive him crazy' kinda thing. Over usage is TOO routine - and being too routine with something that's suppose to be spontaneous and exciting defeats the purpose.

Embrace it and feel in control.. say it like you mean it.. and enjoy his reactions!

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Cheers (said in the dirtiest of sexy voices)

Chick xo

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Saying "I love you" and what that means to your relationship...

The "I love you" phenomenon. Never before have three words meant so much or had the potential to cause so much turmoil. What these words mean to your 'new' or 'not-so-new' relationship. As usual... here's this chick's take...

Firstly, I believe (in most cases) whoever says "I love you" first in the relationship usually finds themselves NOT having the upper hand as to how the relationship plays out. Think about it, if you are the first one to take that leap and throw the "ILU" out on the table you're willing to be more vulnerable. After all, no one is guaranteed to get the "ILU2" in return. Unless, you're a girl who throws out the "ILU" because you're the *romantic type* and the guy replies with the "ILU2" because he's the *HORNY* type lol!!

AND.. if you have the "ILU" put out in front of you does this mean you are obligated to give the "ILU2" in return?? What if you haven't even thought about it yet?! Because, in that instance, there is just NOT a whole lot of time to ponder a response - you either LOOK or you LEAP - you usually don't get a chance to do both unless you are very clear about how you already feel... Then it's easy.. but leaves the question.. why didn't you say it first then?

I also tend to believe, if you've been dating someone for any significant amount of time (say.. 6 months or more) and the "ILU" card has not yet been played - then you are likely either trying to avoid saying it because one of you doesn't really mean it - OR (and this is a biggie) you are trying to outlast each other in an effort to not get hurt or to maintain some sort of control. It may seem twisted but I think that happens a lot. Not all of us wear our hearts completely exposed.. If you're like me, and you do - you already know that's a risk but at least you know it's genuine.

So, once the ILU cards have been laid out on the table and life continues merrily along, what's next for these three little words??? Do they continue to mean as much as the first time you said them? Do they build up and mean more as you expand your life together? OR - like so many couples out there - do they just become as reactionary as a 'bless you' after a sneeze?! How many people have heard the ILU card played when their partner 'wants' something - whether she wants an expensive pair of shoes or jewelery ..or whether he wants sex or a night out with the boyz.. It happens all the time - sad, but true.

Some thoughts I have on keeping the "ILU's" meaningful... never let the ILU's become hollow or merely responsive. If your partner is on over-drive with their use of ILU's you don't have to be - if you feel it's cold to not respond or give the "ILU2" in return, then say it but ALSO find those moments when you are looking into their eyes and say it - so they know you mean it - versus the "ILU" as you're walking out the door or ending a phone conversation. You CAN do both - as long as the meaningful and genuine ILU's still exist, you're good! Once in a while (especially if you have been together for a while) indulge in the depth of the ILU.. with, "ILU because..." or "ILU for..." but no matter what - MEAN it - you'll find if you have depth behind your ILU's you're more likely to get that kind of response in return.

Cheesey as it all may sound.. cliche as it just may seem.. that's the kind of fit we all want to some extent. A real love.. with all the fixin's - there's nothing worse then hearing a couple say "ILU' when they really want to say "f*ck off" - there is a world of meaning behind the ILU's - use them wisely!

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Cheers my dirtee martini readers!

Chick xo