Is your sexual schedule in sync?...

In the beginning, sex was EVERYTHING!!! All encompassing and ALWAYS in the forefront. No time, was a bad time for sex. Any chance you had alone was an opportunity to PLAY.. and play you did!!

Sometimes, it ends there and for whatever reason sex was the only thing that you had. Sometimes it goes on longer and develops into a real relationship. Well, as your relationship develops changes in your sex life seem to be inevitable. The question I pose is this.. is it impossible to hold fast to those initial *freaky-deaky* days? Maybe I'm the last one around to believe it's possible - but do you know why that is? Because I WANT it that way...yes, still ;o)

Some people schedule 'date nights' (a.k.a. she gets dinner out and he gets laid). I kinda think the spontaneity is lacking when it comes to a scheduled date night. I mean, even if you have kids at home and find it difficult to have time alone.. there ARE WAYS.. go for a drive - park the car and hop in back ;o) Put a lock on your bedroom door.. have a coffee later in the day if you find yourself too tired for sex at the end of a busy day. Doesn't anyone else look at sex after a long day as a reward anymore? It's a release, it will help you sleep, and it FEELS GOOD!!! However, much of the problem is that too many people view sex as 'work' and that will only kill any hint of a sexual appetite.

So, somehow you manage to find some time for sex even for the busiest of schedules. What happens when your partner isn't 'feeling it'??? If your desire or frequency cravings are off it's something you may want to pay attention to. Is it causing you to have sex a lot less then you want it? Sometimes planning a sex date isn't all it's cracked up to be. The same is true in reverse, if you expect sex all the time it can be a turn off for your partner. My suggestion is TALK, TALK AND MORE TALK. Just because you are in a relationship together doesn't mean you will always agree - but the key is to find a common ground where both people feel satisfied. If that means you give a little, then give a little.. but don't give to the point where you put your wants & needs too far behind.

Pay attention to how things are when you do have sex. If you are having infrequent sex and it's not exciting well that IS a problem. If you find that times you do come together are still worth the wait in between, then that is a GOOD thing. If you have sex frequently ensure that's what your partner desires as well and lead the charge in keeping things fresh to avoid a feeling where sex could lose it's edge.

Point is, both people need to be on the same path. Desire in the bedroom translates into desire for each other in your everyday life. Pay attention to it, because just assuming it will be there is risky. Appreciate what you have and keep the feeling front and centre that you want to be the one to make your partner the happiest, most loved, and appreciated - especially in your sex life. After all, that's what makes your relationship sacred from all others.

Email any suggestions to chicktidbits@live.ca, questions are welcome too! Vote, subscribe & visit often.

Scrap the sex calenders - if you are paying close enough attention to each other - you won't need them. Make sex a priority - keep it special - everyone wants that skip in their step ;o)

Cheers!
Chick xo