Saying "I love you" and what that means to your relationship...

The "I love you" phenomenon. Never before have three words meant so much or had the potential to cause so much turmoil. What these words mean to your 'new' or 'not-so-new' relationship. As usual... here's this chick's take...

Firstly, I believe (in most cases) whoever says "I love you" first in the relationship usually finds themselves NOT having the upper hand as to how the relationship plays out. Think about it, if you are the first one to take that leap and throw the "ILU" out on the table you're willing to be more vulnerable. After all, no one is guaranteed to get the "ILU2" in return. Unless, you're a girl who throws out the "ILU" because you're the *romantic type* and the guy replies with the "ILU2" because he's the *HORNY* type lol!!

AND.. if you have the "ILU" put out in front of you does this mean you are obligated to give the "ILU2" in return?? What if you haven't even thought about it yet?! Because, in that instance, there is just NOT a whole lot of time to ponder a response - you either LOOK or you LEAP - you usually don't get a chance to do both unless you are very clear about how you already feel... Then it's easy.. but leaves the question.. why didn't you say it first then?

I also tend to believe, if you've been dating someone for any significant amount of time (say.. 6 months or more) and the "ILU" card has not yet been played - then you are likely either trying to avoid saying it because one of you doesn't really mean it - OR (and this is a biggie) you are trying to outlast each other in an effort to not get hurt or to maintain some sort of control. It may seem twisted but I think that happens a lot. Not all of us wear our hearts completely exposed.. If you're like me, and you do - you already know that's a risk but at least you know it's genuine.

So, once the ILU cards have been laid out on the table and life continues merrily along, what's next for these three little words??? Do they continue to mean as much as the first time you said them? Do they build up and mean more as you expand your life together? OR - like so many couples out there - do they just become as reactionary as a 'bless you' after a sneeze?! How many people have heard the ILU card played when their partner 'wants' something - whether she wants an expensive pair of shoes or jewelery ..or whether he wants sex or a night out with the boyz.. It happens all the time - sad, but true.

Some thoughts I have on keeping the "ILU's" meaningful... never let the ILU's become hollow or merely responsive. If your partner is on over-drive with their use of ILU's you don't have to be - if you feel it's cold to not respond or give the "ILU2" in return, then say it but ALSO find those moments when you are looking into their eyes and say it - so they know you mean it - versus the "ILU" as you're walking out the door or ending a phone conversation. You CAN do both - as long as the meaningful and genuine ILU's still exist, you're good! Once in a while (especially if you have been together for a while) indulge in the depth of the ILU.. with, "ILU because..." or "ILU for..." but no matter what - MEAN it - you'll find if you have depth behind your ILU's you're more likely to get that kind of response in return.

Cheesey as it all may sound.. cliche as it just may seem.. that's the kind of fit we all want to some extent. A real love.. with all the fixin's - there's nothing worse then hearing a couple say "ILU' when they really want to say "f*ck off" - there is a world of meaning behind the ILU's - use them wisely!

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Cheers my dirtee martini readers!

Chick xo

Female sex drive...

It's a pretty common belief that women tend to have a lower sex drive then that of men. There is the general assumption that men ALWAYS want it and that women are continually brushing them off. I mean, it's everywhere.. talk to most couples who have been together for a while.. the men almost always complain that they never get sex or that it's routine and dulled over time.. and women tend to think that's all men ever want and dismiss it all together. This is not true of ALL couples however, it seems to be true of the majority.

First off I believe that many women simply do not really know how to freely receive pleasure. A HUGE part of knowing HOW to receive pleasure is by knowing your own body and knowing what YOU enjoy. I think that many women just don't have the interest in exploring themselves fully - which is a shame because that is the KEY to broadening your sexual horizons. There is the stigma that it's "all or nothing" with women when it comes to sex. Meaning, some women may figure they need to portray **porn star** like performances in the bedroom & they simply aren't like that... Side note here though, any discerning eye can tell you the porn star 'showings' are all about quantity not quality - There is nothing genuine in about 99% of female orgasms in pornographic performances... so take those pressures off ladies. Besides, most men just want sex, they don't need you to know how to pull off the Swedish helicopter move ;o)

As women age, as the newness of relationships settles in - it seems they become so much more uninterested in sex. Distractions of life and work causing exhaustion at the end of the day.. but the overall unimportance they place on 'sex' being a vital part of their lives is a trend you see all the time. There is scientific proof that as women age they tend to have lower levels of testosterone in their bodies - testosterone is what charges up the DRIVE to want to have sex. Now do you see what I'm getting at.. and why men want it more then women in most cases? (Sidenote: being ladylike with good testosterone levels is amazing!!). The thing is ladies, that DRIVE that is missing - is also what gives you a BOOST a 'zest for life' that we all need to feel energized - ALIVE!! Why wouldn't you want your whole body to experience 'living'.

Maybe your orgasms are non-existent or just so/so. Ever tried KEGELS??? It's the pelvic floor exercise that can be done anywhere at anytime!! You simply use the same 'squeeze' muscles that you use to stop the flow of urine. It only needs to be a few a day - and TRUST ME - this move alone can make SO MUCH DIFFERENCE in what you experience while having sex. If you keep it up, your partner will enjoy the benefits of your little 'sexercises' as well!

So many women attribute sex with love. So, for those women who are tirelessly working to take care of everything - day in and day out - if you aren't feeling those 'romantic vibes' from your man - I can fully appreciate how that can kill your desire. Men are not the best of mind readers though, state it loud and clear if you require that 'lovin feelin' to be built up before gettin' dirty!

I truly believe that a lack of sexual desire is confining... in so many ways. What is life if there is no spring in your step? What is there to sacredly bond you to your partner if sex isn't a primal drive in your connection? Like so many things in life - if you go long enough without it - you get use to that. And when you get to that point, I hope after some thought and maybe reading this blog - you'll see that you're truly missing out.

Waving the flag for the ~insanely sexually charged chickee's of the world~ (oh yes, I am!).

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Cheers!

Chick xo

Worshipping the penis...

I think there are a majority of women out there who simply cannot imagine the thought of 'worshipping the penis'. I've heard the commentary among women.. how it looks like a 'dead birds nest' how there is nothing attractive about the male sex organ.. I too have had my own cringe-worthy experience with a smelly 'ant eater'.. I know, GROSS! Trial and error I say... but when you find a cock that does it for you - GRAB HOLD ladies ;o)

If you are lucky enough to have found a penis that you deem attractive (and attraction is all a state of perception) then it's time to show your appreciation. There is a lot to be said for not just 'manipulating' a penis in order to achieve sexual gratification - a whole new level of sexual connection lies just beneath the surface. It has to do with your mind & how you really FEEL about your partner's most erotic body part.

Getting up close and getting to know all of the folds and creases of your man's cock is half the fun! Besides, it would truly be a shame to only acknowledge the TIP of his iceberg! Spend some quality time with your guy's penis.. get to know it.. no two are alike.. meet the whole gang while you're at it - never forget the dangle-brothers. The more interest you show in how your man's cock really works.. the better you can please him.. and a girl who knows her way around a cock is a goddess in every man's eyes. Oral sex is one of the top pleasure seekers by men - so if you take a genuine interest in worshipping your man's penis and learning how to enjoy it - your man will certainly have a whole new appreciation for you too.

All too many times women seem to dismiss blow jobs as being only for special occasions like his birthday... c'mon! Imagine if men viewed sex in this way - if they would only provide penetration on a special occasion - there'd be some mighty cranky people out in this world with some majorly pent up angst! So, if giving your man a blow job isn't something you currently enjoy - it might be time to consider how to WANT to enjoy his manhood. I have a few ideas...

If you have a man who has 'scent' from down below that turns you off - work around it - strip him down and take him into the shower.. be playful.. soap him up.. rinse him off and give him the experience of being explored by you in the steamy setting of the shower. Once his bewilderment over an experience like that has subsided.. remind him of how you like to fully enjoy him when he's squeaky clean like that ;o) I guarantee you.. any worries of a stinky pee pee will soon be history! If you are really adventurous try enjoying him all the way from the front to the back when you know he's all cleaned up... just a suggestion hehe!

Now, if don't mind the scent of your man.. or if a touch of 'marinade' (as I like to call it) is something you find appealing try making some time where you ONLY enjoy him. There are enough books out there that indicate a man should do this - but why not a woman? I for one, don't think that giving your man the 'basics' should cut it (and of course vice versa). After all, don't you want him to think of you as his ultimate sex fantasy - if the answer is yes, then INDULGE him sistas! Lie your man down on the bed.. unzip.. and take your time teasing and exploring.. and just when he's dying to touch you and return the favour.. tell him you want a little more time to enjoy HIM. I'd lay money most men will have never experienced something like this before.

If you have a man who tends to be on the 'bushy' side there are ways to convince him to do some manscaping as well. Start with yourself.. show up with a freshly shaved pussy and ask him how much he likes it bare.. tell him how much you love it.. tell him how you would love to spend more time savouring his cock if it was free of any 'furry' inhibitors ;o) I can attest to being the kind of woman who SHOWS her appreciation for a cleanly kept landscape on my man..

Point being, if you can find ways to genuinely be turned on by your man's penis then you are likely ahead of the game. This is about using your mouth, tasting, smelling, touching, admiring - using all of your senses to LOVE his cock... even before you feel him inside of you. I am certain that your man will soon show you his gratitude and that your desire for each other will be heightened beyond what you thought was possible.

Let me know how it goes.. break out that sex queen that you are and LOVE his penis! Email your questions or comments to chicktidbits@live.ca, subscribe, vote... and come back often!

Chick xo

The road from ~sweet kitty~ to ~dirty MILF~ ...

I remember when I first heard the term MILF.. wondering what it was.. 'googling' my way to becoming more informed on the code name. Coming across such websites as 'milf hunter' (kinky and somewhat funny it's so fake in my opinion).. Realizing that MILF actually meant 'Mother I'd Like-to Fuck'. Gotta admit, a devilish grin came across my face. Was this the category I was now in? No longer the fresh little kitty who could make men purrrr... Now I was identified as a 'mother' - it was different. For me, the term MILF just inspires those of us who crave to hold fast to our desirable & sexual side of life. It means there is a SEXUAL creature under all of the ~mommy-ness~ that shields us ;o) Perhaps the 'kitty' had just evolved into a well experienced TIGRESS.. and that, was okay with me. After all, I happen to believe a true TIGRESS can make a man scream with passion vs a little kitty who can only entice a purr... hehe!

On another note however, many women tend to lose sight of their sexual prowess once they become consumed by motherhood - it happens - a lot. It's the tried & tested rule that most couples experience a lowering in sexual activity when children come into their lives. I feel it's so important for us Mama's to celebrate our sexuality and continue to harvest it. Too many women lose their individuality and the sexual connection with their partners with being so Mommy-focused. It's important to find the space where your sexual being still exists & to NEVER lose it. We all know who these Mommy's are - they carry themselves well, they still have the swagger yet benefit from having more life experience and most often are in the throws of their prime sexual years.

Believe me, I take my kids to the park, I grocery shop with them, etc, etc... doesn't mean I can't look good doing it - When you feel sexy - people know it. I think in most cases a MILF is even more desirable then a fresh kitty We are sexually mature women in our prime! - We know what we want & more importantly, how to get it ;o)

Here's to my MILF sistas of the world.. never lose your swagger ladies! Someone is always taking notice.

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Cheers xo

Just when I thought I was the expert of the ORGASM...

Isn't one of the best parts about sex that there is always something new to discover. Here's me, queen *O*.. I bashfully admit that I am one of the lucky few women who is blessed with the capability of achieving multiple orgasms during sex. Thankfully, I have a partner who knows how to work me and who entices me to 'work' on him to reach those heights!!

I recently found the most delicious of positions which happens to ROCK my world into mind-blowing, cross-eyed orgasms!!!! So of course, I had to share with my readers. Now for technical purposes I'm going to explain the set up. Woman on top.. Guy on the bottom.. guy has 2 pillows behind his head (I believe this helps with the angle).. girl has him fully inserted and is leaning over top of his chest... now the kicker, have him press (not push but PRESS) down on your butt cheeks. This spreads the girl open and pushes him towards her g-spot and with the right motions from the chick on top - you too, may be of the small percentage of women who can achieve g-spot orgasm!! If it sounds confusing, take this photo I've selected.. imagine it horizontally and that's the press move that the guy has to make.. Oh.. and being naked helps too lol!!

From the small to the earth-shattering, I am so grateful to experience a variety of orgasms several times over during a session. Let everything escape your mind and tell your partner what you like, what you want to try.. and NEVER be afraid to venture outside of the box. Variety is the spice of life as they say ;o)

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...and have yourself a fantastic orgasm!!

Cheers xo!

Chick

Jeans on a man... what does it for me....

I'm the kinda girl who's favourite look on a man is when he's in a perfectly fitted pair of his old jeans. Not the ones that look scraggly... the ones that fit him just right, in ALL the right places. Now, I'm not a 'labels' kinda girl.. I just want to see him in the jeans where the view looks GOOD from all angles. You know, the ones that he wears with a little bit of strut to his walk.. they are comfortable and his ass is HOT in them!! Plus, the trendy-trendy jeans kinda give me the sign that the guy would be a little too ~fake~ or pretentious for my liking. Everyone knows what jeans are their fav's and what ones they feel sexiest wearing.. those ones!

So, my criteria for hot looking jeans on a guy is... 1. they don't have to be the trendsetter styles, 2. the ASS has to catch my eye. Now, if your guys is blessed with a lovely apple bottom then hallelujah!!! Those butts look the best in jeans if you ask me. You know, the ones where there is a curve to the lower back that leads down to a bite-worthy, totally squeezable set of buns, the ones that fill out the back side of jeans so perfectly! 3. The jeans have to FIT the man not the opposite! There is no bigger turn off then to see a guy who is wearing his jeans hanging low and way too over sized - puke me out! Even for those not so blessed, who may have the flat or tiny butt curse - find jeans that fit YOU - the loose-hanging butt jeans do nothing for the small butted fella. 4. do not buy jeans that are too tight! No one wants to see jeans on a guy so tight that you can still see that he wears whitey-tighties - that's a no no! I don't mind using my talents in being able to tell whether my fella is hanging left or right that day - so long as I can't tell if he's been circumcised as well lol!!! (Naughty joke - sorry!) 5. I am not a big fan of the jeans with the buttoned-pocket in the rear - I feel that style looks best on women or teenagers - but would a real guy's guy purchase jeans like that... ?? 6. A bit of comfort-wear zones in the jeans can look cool - some of the distressed jeans have the 'comfortably worn' look already worked in for ya! Never confuse this with full on visible ass-rips or overly obvious wallet wear - You know what I'm talking about - guys, don't ruin the ass-view for us ladies, keep your wallets in your jackets k?? We wanna see BUNS!!!! 7. My final tip would be to NEVER wear your jeans so low that any bending would be cause for crack-itis - if I wanna see more, I'll remove them myself thanks!!

Those are my tid bits on men in jeans. A guy wearing a great pair of jeans makes me wanna touch and squeeze... or at the very least, *THINK* about touching and squeezing!!! Whether my fella matches his jeans with a plan t-shirt, a nice sweater, a dressier collared shirt - jeans have been around for a long time & continue to be a staple in most peoples wardrobes. Most importantly, if you CARE how you look when you walk out the door - others will too!

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Cheers!!

Miss. Chick ;o)

Sex addict..... interesting!

So, I'm sure I can't be alone in this... but has David Duchovny's recent statement regarding his entry into rehab for sex addiction suddenly elevated him to 'even sexier' status?! Crazy I know! I mean, the guy has an addiction.. but YEESH.. Suddenly the mental images of this sex addicted star flood the brain ;o)

Who knows what the real story is. I hope for the sake of his relationship that his addiction was only linked to internet porn.. and if THAT'S the case, really... what's the problem?! That rehabilitation facility had better make room for a LOT more of us if loving internet porn makes you a sex addict!!! Then again, I have been accused of being boarder line addicted myself hehe!

I know my interest has been peaked to check out the 'Californication' series where, from what I understand, David Duchovny plays the role of a sex addict. Guess that could be considered TV porn? Oh boy.. another addiction for me to deal with ;o)

I get it, there IS certainly a serious side to addiction issues.. but I'm sorry, that's not what I'm talking about. Just giving my tid-bits on the fact that I've been wondering what the latest celebrity addict was 'into'....

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Cheers xo!

Chick...