For many couples, fighting includes yelling and raised tempers.. I would say this all depends on the personality types involved. For SOME, that style works - it airs the problem and to some extent indicates a level of passion they have in the relationship. An article I recently read suggested the same 'drive' one gets from arguing with a partner, releases the same 'drive' as they experience with sex. And with that sort of drive - what do we all crave??? Release!! Makes sense to see why so many couples turn to 'make-up sex' as the finality of the argument. In my opinion, that's all great and good - so long as SOMETHING was resolved and it's not just a 'distraction' which is merely delaying yet another, more built-up argument later.
We've all heard people speak of their parents who never fought... and many times, these are the folks, who.. once the kids have been raised - realize that they've been holding in deep hostility and resentment towards one another for years. Silence can be vicious... I think it's often times WORSE to hold in your frustrations then to scream and yell - at least the latter has the potential of coming to a resolution. No one is a mind-reader when it comes to relationships... no one.. Plus, if you are the type who holds in your anger, the chances of experiencing make-up sex are nil. Also, if this type of build up continues over a long period of time - it probably wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that your sex life wasn't what you'd WANT it to be either.
Then, there's the type that I can attest to, as I am one of them. I'm a 'resolver'... Once I'm ready to talk I want to talk until it's fixed. I want to feel content and feel that my partner is also satisfied with the outcome of our discussion. I do not believe that everyone will EVER agree on EVERY topic.. So, weigh how important the problem is to you in the first place - *pick your battles* as they say. You can't make a HUGE deal about crumbs on the counter vs. whether or not you want to get married, if you catch my drift. Having disagreements doesn't mean that you HAVE TO or WILL agree - but it does mean that each of your opinions are heard. Hopefully, if you are able to focus on staying constructive, you will find that there is always room to compromise. After all, if you love the person you are with, and want to continue to make things work - compromise is always worth it in the end. The BEST part of this type of approach to dealing with disagreements/arguments is that both people are more likely to end up feeling satisfied. And in my humblest of opinions, when both people are at ease with the outcome of a discussion - that's when the BEST make-up sex is possible... When you have GROWN as a couple, respected one another and become closer for it - that's when true passion arises - that's when the reconnection through skin-on-skin will be most satisfying.... I speak from experience ;o)
As I always say, sex between a couple is what connects your relationship more deeply then any other in your life... never lose that perspective ;o)
Happy make'n'up & make'n'OUT to you!!! Email your anonymous topic requests or questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, subscribe to my blog, and vote.. vote.. vote!!!!