I always thought I had a different point of view...

Hey sistas!!! I am very thankful to have some faithful female readers (guys too!!). I am fortunate enough to be in contact with some of my readers and am ALWAYS thrilled to get any and all feedback... **hint hint.. comment, vote or email more peeps! (I listen! I listen!!)** and here's proof.. This one's for the ladies who 'may' see this blog as setting unrealistic expectations.. I say, this blog is not for setting standards - it's to create unique thoughts, tid bits that will hopefully bring more fun and excitement into your life ;o)

Sure my blog promotes the 'unique' view I have on life, love & sex. I figure, if I had the same view as 'everyone else' it might not be all that fun to read lol! My hope is to induce thought outside of the box, create conversation, engage the playful side of every one's life. I don't want men to read the blog and think 'I wish I had that' or women to read it and think 'I'd never want that'.. but I do want to spark the question to each person of what 'you' can do to make your relationship more fun to make the MOST of your sex life and to enjoy the person you are with. The kinky suggestions or thoughts are what *I* think about... create your own fun & fantasy - This blog is to inspire that not create false expectations.

Always look at what you put in vs what you want to take away from a relationship. If you are missing passion, put in an effort to be as passionate as possible. If you are unhappy, figure out what YOU can do to make your situation better. Take ownership.. and come here often... for a laugh... for some tips... for a unique view. I always knew my view point was different when it came to sex and love. I'm here to celebrate that instead of hide it. Give the relationship you want in return.. so much is within our control and all to many times we allow our disappointment to set on our partner.. and that is no solution. I've been told so many times that I 'think like a guy' when it comes to certain things ;o) Maybe, just maybe I could create a medium for women to read this blog and hear a different side of what their men aren't quite explaining.


Vote, email me at chicktidbits@live.ca, comment, subscribe - and thank you for taking the time to read.. whether you shake your head, laugh, write down suggestions word for word.. whatever?!? Everyone is welcome to pull up a chair, even if you're not wearing heels ;o)


Chick xo!!

Is your sexual schedule in sync?...

In the beginning, sex was EVERYTHING!!! All encompassing and ALWAYS in the forefront. No time, was a bad time for sex. Any chance you had alone was an opportunity to PLAY.. and play you did!!

Sometimes, it ends there and for whatever reason sex was the only thing that you had. Sometimes it goes on longer and develops into a real relationship. Well, as your relationship develops changes in your sex life seem to be inevitable. The question I pose is this.. is it impossible to hold fast to those initial *freaky-deaky* days? Maybe I'm the last one around to believe it's possible - but do you know why that is? Because I WANT it that way...yes, still ;o)

Some people schedule 'date nights' (a.k.a. she gets dinner out and he gets laid). I kinda think the spontaneity is lacking when it comes to a scheduled date night. I mean, even if you have kids at home and find it difficult to have time alone.. there ARE WAYS.. go for a drive - park the car and hop in back ;o) Put a lock on your bedroom door.. have a coffee later in the day if you find yourself too tired for sex at the end of a busy day. Doesn't anyone else look at sex after a long day as a reward anymore? It's a release, it will help you sleep, and it FEELS GOOD!!! However, much of the problem is that too many people view sex as 'work' and that will only kill any hint of a sexual appetite.

So, somehow you manage to find some time for sex even for the busiest of schedules. What happens when your partner isn't 'feeling it'??? If your desire or frequency cravings are off it's something you may want to pay attention to. Is it causing you to have sex a lot less then you want it? Sometimes planning a sex date isn't all it's cracked up to be. The same is true in reverse, if you expect sex all the time it can be a turn off for your partner. My suggestion is TALK, TALK AND MORE TALK. Just because you are in a relationship together doesn't mean you will always agree - but the key is to find a common ground where both people feel satisfied. If that means you give a little, then give a little.. but don't give to the point where you put your wants & needs too far behind.

Pay attention to how things are when you do have sex. If you are having infrequent sex and it's not exciting well that IS a problem. If you find that times you do come together are still worth the wait in between, then that is a GOOD thing. If you have sex frequently ensure that's what your partner desires as well and lead the charge in keeping things fresh to avoid a feeling where sex could lose it's edge.

Point is, both people need to be on the same path. Desire in the bedroom translates into desire for each other in your everyday life. Pay attention to it, because just assuming it will be there is risky. Appreciate what you have and keep the feeling front and centre that you want to be the one to make your partner the happiest, most loved, and appreciated - especially in your sex life. After all, that's what makes your relationship sacred from all others.

Email any suggestions to chicktidbits@live.ca, questions are welcome too! Vote, subscribe & visit often.

Scrap the sex calenders - if you are paying close enough attention to each other - you won't need them. Make sex a priority - keep it special - everyone wants that skip in their step ;o)

Cheers!
Chick xo

One girl's review of the 'Viagra' experience...

My initial reaction is to scream from the hilltops that ~I LOVE VIAGRA!!!!~ Yes, I do ;o) So, here's the summary of my virgin viagra experience along with some opinion of Viagra use overall.

So one day a little blue pill came into our lives... I wasn't quite sure what to expect, would his erection fling out of his jeans and slap me in the face right after he swallowed it?! lol!? Seriously.. a little part of me wondered how much control this pill would have over my man?! It was like waiting to see what Santa brought me on Christmas morning (picture hands rubbing together and salivating at the anticipation!!). Fear not my dear friends, viagra doesn't wallop you with an uncontrollable erection upon initial ingestion. It still requires that you have the desire to be 'turned on' which is ultimately in your control. Once you do have the opportunity to feel aroused however, viagra does not disappoint ;o)

Now, we just used viagra to *play* not for any dysfunction type of situation. Our experience was merely that of, "lets see how much fun we can have with THIS" lol!! I do consider myself a bit of an erection expert ;o) and viagra did ROCK my world when I was presented with the FULL EXTENT of it's capabilities. Now, anyone who reads this blog regularly knows that I am in a very sexually active relationship - but the best way to compare the benefits of viagra would be to say - if you hadn't had sex in a while and you were just EXTRA JACKED UP - those are the times when you are just 'that much more erect' - that's what it's like to experience viagra. You are very easily turned on and the blood flow to your penis is at FULL CAPACITY!! Experiencing sex when you are just 'that much harder' is beneficial to you and your woman. We had a LOT of fun with our first viagra experience - and for those women out there who like to go several rounds (guilty as charged!!) viagra provides your man with means to go like the Energizer Bunny!!! Even into the next day we found it was very easy to coax a full on erection to come out and play ;o)

Now, this isn't something I would use regularly. I figure, most guys really don't need it unless they are experiencing erectile dysfunction. Most of the time, guys seem to be hard up when it comes to sex (no pun intended) so they usually don't have much trouble getting aroused at the thought of having sex. if you have sex almost daily well then viagra is fun to throw in there once in a while for a little 'kick'. I figure viagra is best used for it's advertised purpose - generally for older guys who might want to experience the rigidity in their erections that they experienced when they were 18 ;o) - - - Ladies!! Pay attention here, you receive the love and experience of your man (in his yonder years) with the added bonus of his 18-year-old hardness!!! For me, it was a BLAST. Not anything necessary because I enjoy sex with my man however he dishes it - but - it's always fun to play and mix up the spice.

And for the record - in comparison to Christmas morning - SANTA CAME THROUGH - I must have been a very, very good girl because when I unwrapped my present - it was MAMMOTH and EXACTLY what I wanted ;o)

Email any topic suggestions or questions to chicktidbits@live.ca subscribe to this blog, vote, comment and come (back) often!!!

Here's to maximum capacity blood flow - I love you Viagra!!!

Chick xo

Lingerie ...a MUST!!!

Ahhh lingerie! The topic crossed my mind as I was planning what to pack for an upcoming trip & getting excited about some of the kinky 'night time play' outfits I will bring! To state the obvious, men LOVE it. Let's face it, the whole purpose of lingerie is dressing up to entice sex! What man wouldn't LOVE that kind of eye catching invitation? Thing is, not a lot of women want to put in the effort of lingerie - I guess they figure, putting out is good enough - NEVER I say! Lingerie isn't ONLY for the guys...

It's true that many women are self conscious about their bodies so, the thought of wearing lingerie to invite attention to your body can be a daunting thought for some. Thing is, there are so many different styles of lingerie that there is something flattering for every shape! Plus, most guys are so excited by the thought of having sex and would be SO jacked to see the effort to be sexy for him has been made - they don't focus in on the flaws that we see in ourselves ladies! Really! Plus, if you are self conscious about your body, there is amazing lingerie out there that can enhance the good stuff and distract from the worrisome areas. The bottom line is that men are VISUAL creatures and lingerie adds to the excitement of being tempted - it's a GOOD thing!

I'm a 'gotta match' the bras & thong kinda gal - it's a little thing but it counts (and who knows when you'll ever get in a car accident - who wants to be seen with ratty ol' panties on?! Won't be me!!). I like to make sure I have a good selection of nice bra/thong sets to choose from and mix em' up often. However, lingerie is different - it's not something I wear every day but it is something I wear often enough to need a small drawer to store all of my 'pretties' in lol! I find when I wear lingerie it sets a state of mind. It arouses the sexual prowess within! I've got everything from dress up costumes - darque cowgirl, naughty school girl, daisy duke - to cute little lace camisoles - sweet little teddies - right into corsets, garters & all! I like to play... guilty as charged! The thing is, with all of these options I've collected along the way - I get to 'dress up' for whatever mood may strike. And ladies, here's the key - there is something about slipping into lingerie that creates a mind set - lingerie is sexy - and that's just it - it MAKES you FEEL sexy when you wear it. If you aren't sure, give your man a lil' show and you'll be sure about your sex appeal soon enough!!!

Guys, I think it's a very fine line when it comes to buying lingerie for your lady. In fact, I think you have to know her VERY well to buy her the right stuff. Never mind sizing being an issue for most guys when buying lingerie for their lady - but it can come across as intimidating to a woman to have a guy WANT to see her in something if she's not quite sure of it herself. There are however, ways in which to encourage your lady to wear somethin' fun in the bedroom. Tell her you would really love to buy her something sexy but that you want her to choose it and surprise you with what she likes - Encourage her as to how sexy you know she'll look. I figure that's a win-win situation as she gets to chose something she likes and YOU will ultimately benefit when it's on the bedroom floor - am I right?!? ;o)

As for men, I am not a huge fan of seeing a guy in a man-thong. I mean, there is just something not so MANLY about that for me. I'm a boxer-briefs fan but what guys CAN do is make sure you've got some nice undies yourself. If you don't want your woman wearing old cotton granny undies with holes in them - then you need to set the bar. Women take notice when a guy looks good in his undies too. However, I secretly would love to find my guy with a bow tied around himself underneath (I know, I'm twisted but it's all good!).

Bottom line is, sometimes the effort put into the wrapping can make the present underneath SO much more appreciated!!!!!

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Happy lingerie wearing 2 u!

Chick xo

Regular sex doesn't guarantee a good sex life... it's all about SPICE!

Sex, it’s the one thing that connects a couple above and beyond all other relationships in your life. So, happy couples who are close and connected ARE the ones having sex, and having it often. This, we know... right? And by often I mean, MORE than once a week. So, if you’ve achieved that continuous connection in your relationship and you’ve got regular, good sex going on – you’ve got it made right? You’ve figured it out and are STILL doing better than most couples out there right? Sure – you CAN say that – but if you really think about it, you can admit that regular sex – however wonderful, can often mean ROUTINE sex – which is NOT always so wonderful.

It’s good to know what you like, but that doesn’t mean that starting off in the same position or using the same moves and finishing style is what’s gonna keep things hot and spontaneous. Might be great to be able to say you and your partner have sex every other day but if it’s ROUTINE sex it may as well be once a week. Routine sex can make even good sex go bad. This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours on foreplay or do handstands in the bedroom – but it does mean that you each have to put a little thought and spunk into things – keep it SPICEY!

Start off differently, don’t ONLY have sex in the bedroom, rip his pants off in the middle of the kitchen one day! Bend her over the couch.. don’t ask if it’s time for sex.. just GET INTO IT! Sure, it’s the most comfortable to have sex in your bedroom, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore a hot screw on the staircase on your way up there – railings were MADE to be clung to!! We all have our favourite positions but switching things up and trying something new is always fun! Imagine if every time you watched TV it was the same episode of your favourite TV show.. what keeps people INTERESTED is not always knowing what comes next – take that train of thought and apply it to your bedroom fun ;o)

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chicktidbits@live.ca , comment & come (back) often ;o)
Cheers!

Chick xo

Dirty talk... Gotta give it a try!!!

Dirty talk... Isn't it true that every guy wants his sweet, innocent girlfriend to become a MINX in the bedroom? To turn into that wicked vixen who dishes the smuttiest bedroom talk ever?! OF COURSE it's true!! (Ladies, even if he DOESN'T admit it). So here are a few tips from a chick who knows a thing 'r' 2 about a thing 'r' 2 ;o)

First of all there are a few things to think about with regards to dirty talk.. Dirty talk is NOT for everyone. If it's delivered 'half-assed' then it's just NOT gonna have the effect you want it to have. You've got to be CONVINCING and believable when it comes to your trashy bedroom talk. These aren't the soft 'I love you's' that you can save for AFTER.. I'm talking about raw, uninhibited, animalistic and SLUTTY talk! If you're gonna go this route - you've got to be 'all in'.

This is the time to dig deep and expose the inner sex maniac!! Trust me, every man wants to hear it but they also don't want to hear you giggle after you get started with your 'talk' - Buy into it people! Have a glass of vino before perhaps, let any shy feelings fall away before you make the dirty talk attempt. There are so many things you can say.. start with a simple 'f.ck me baby' and see how JACKED up he gets from that alone! I'm sure the response you get will encourage you to say even more. If you are in a very secure relationship you will find this easier to do, you can feel safer exposing your fantasies during sex while using dirty talk. A safe bet is to talk dirty about how good it feels and how horny he's making you.. talk about his 'parts' and what he's doing. A simple "I love how hard you are when you f.ck me" could blow his mind!!! You don't have to shout this stuff out so the neighbours hear you - even whispering it into his ear will make him crazy ;o) Start slow and see where your comfort levels are and gauge how he reacts - build on it from there.

Even if you have been in a relationship for years and have never tried this before - it's not a part of your sex routine - it's never too late to try! In fact, keeping things HOT and FRESH is so key in long term relationships - give it a go!

Some women may roll their eyes if they are reading this. So, let me be clear - dirty talk is not something that you do ALL THE TIME... anything that you do 'constantly' can lose it's 'edge and effect' which is NOT what you want. This is a 'once in a while' 'toss it in & drive him crazy' kinda thing. Over usage is TOO routine - and being too routine with something that's suppose to be spontaneous and exciting defeats the purpose.

Embrace it and feel in control.. say it like you mean it.. and enjoy his reactions!

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Cheers (said in the dirtiest of sexy voices)

Chick xo

Saying "I love you" and what that means to your relationship...

The "I love you" phenomenon. Never before have three words meant so much or had the potential to cause so much turmoil. What these words mean to your 'new' or 'not-so-new' relationship. As usual... here's this chick's take...

Firstly, I believe (in most cases) whoever says "I love you" first in the relationship usually finds themselves NOT having the upper hand as to how the relationship plays out. Think about it, if you are the first one to take that leap and throw the "ILU" out on the table you're willing to be more vulnerable. After all, no one is guaranteed to get the "ILU2" in return. Unless, you're a girl who throws out the "ILU" because you're the *romantic type* and the guy replies with the "ILU2" because he's the *HORNY* type lol!!

AND.. if you have the "ILU" put out in front of you does this mean you are obligated to give the "ILU2" in return?? What if you haven't even thought about it yet?! Because, in that instance, there is just NOT a whole lot of time to ponder a response - you either LOOK or you LEAP - you usually don't get a chance to do both unless you are very clear about how you already feel... Then it's easy.. but leaves the question.. why didn't you say it first then?

I also tend to believe, if you've been dating someone for any significant amount of time (say.. 6 months or more) and the "ILU" card has not yet been played - then you are likely either trying to avoid saying it because one of you doesn't really mean it - OR (and this is a biggie) you are trying to outlast each other in an effort to not get hurt or to maintain some sort of control. It may seem twisted but I think that happens a lot. Not all of us wear our hearts completely exposed.. If you're like me, and you do - you already know that's a risk but at least you know it's genuine.

So, once the ILU cards have been laid out on the table and life continues merrily along, what's next for these three little words??? Do they continue to mean as much as the first time you said them? Do they build up and mean more as you expand your life together? OR - like so many couples out there - do they just become as reactionary as a 'bless you' after a sneeze?! How many people have heard the ILU card played when their partner 'wants' something - whether she wants an expensive pair of shoes or jewelery ..or whether he wants sex or a night out with the boyz.. It happens all the time - sad, but true.

Some thoughts I have on keeping the "ILU's" meaningful... never let the ILU's become hollow or merely responsive. If your partner is on over-drive with their use of ILU's you don't have to be - if you feel it's cold to not respond or give the "ILU2" in return, then say it but ALSO find those moments when you are looking into their eyes and say it - so they know you mean it - versus the "ILU" as you're walking out the door or ending a phone conversation. You CAN do both - as long as the meaningful and genuine ILU's still exist, you're good! Once in a while (especially if you have been together for a while) indulge in the depth of the ILU.. with, "ILU because..." or "ILU for..." but no matter what - MEAN it - you'll find if you have depth behind your ILU's you're more likely to get that kind of response in return.

Cheesey as it all may sound.. cliche as it just may seem.. that's the kind of fit we all want to some extent. A real love.. with all the fixin's - there's nothing worse then hearing a couple say "ILU' when they really want to say "f*ck off" - there is a world of meaning behind the ILU's - use them wisely!

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Cheers my dirtee martini readers!

Chick xo