Anal sex ...

Has it crossed your mind? Is it something your partner has eluded to? Is it the one thing you haven’t tried yet? That taboo position that is almost never a road you can travel for the first time without some sort of conversation about it first... Yes my friends, I’m talking about anal sex ;o)

I’ve always been of the mindset that I’d pretty much be up for trying anything with a partner I felt secure and committed to. After all, sex is fun and exciting so why not explore it in every way possible right?!? Okay, that being said I can share from ‘some’ (*wink, blush, nudge*) experience ;o)

First off, DO talk about this topic before ASSuming you have the green light fellas. Some people are dead set against it whether they have had previous experience or not, obviously, ya gotta respect their feelings. If it’s something you desire and your partner is not interested, you are still warranted to discuss your desires to at least try it. If you cannot come to an agreement – maybe try a little ‘meet in the middle play’ put some lube along her butt crack and thrust along the line of her butt without any penetration (picture when you slide yourself between her breasts, same idea) – maybe you’ll take some ‘boo’ out of taboo that way... just a thought. Plus, that little tid bit can show your partner that they can trust you which is vital to a positive introduction to anal sex. Anal PLAY can also be a good stepping stone into the attempt at anal sex. Anal play can include penetrating the anus with your pinky finger, perhaps simultaneously having finger play with her va-jay-jay, oral play with the anus – licking or lightly tonguing, even just massaging the outside of the anus to show the pleasure you can receive from that area.

The #1 rule for any anal play or penetration is LUBE.. LUBE.. AND MORE L*U*B*E ;o) The #2 rule is to have your partner feeling completely relaxed.. tension and anal sex don’t work well together. If this is something you desire to try more than once, do your best to make the first time a good experience. Listen to your partner, be calming, go SLOW... be constantly aware that the *green light* you have can change to amber at any given moment!! If your partner is game and you plan on giving it a go.. ensure her mind is not focused on the concern of pain, keep her in the mood – make sure she is turned on in other ways – spend time on that before going for the bull’s-eye ;o)

When you are ready, when your partner is ready – coat yourself in a good dose of lube.. lube up your partner as well.. begin with small penetrations.. your pinky fingertip.. up to the knuckle.. etc.. if that is going well and the light is still green – S-L-O-W-L-Y- move in.. Now, as a side note here, the tip is usually the most shocking part of anal sex for the woman. Once the tip is in, keep your movements extremely small, edge in further as the pressure allows... Continue to keep your partner aroused.. kiss her back.. keep her feeling relaxed – remind her you will stop at her first request – but PLEASE, do yourself a favour here guys – don’t THRUST away on her unless she’s an anal-loving-kinda-gal ;o) This article is for the first-timers – the seasoned vets already know the drill & how they like it lol!!

In my humble opinion, the best of anal sex experiences are those that happen with a patient and trustworthy lover. If you try it and it’s not something you want to try again – you still get full marks for giving it a go ;o) But fellas, if this is something you wish to have as a part of your sexual repertoire with your partner then invest the time and patience on a gradual start – your chances of a second go-round will increase tenfold that way ;o)

Ladies, if it’s something you would never consider – do you know why? I mean, there are a lot of people who are appalled by sex itself for any other use then baby making – imagine what they are missing out on?!? Maybe think of it like broccoli – you may not like the thought of trying it – but maybe... just MAYYYYYBE you’ll be pleasantly surprised once you give it a try. Personally, I think vaginal sex is a lot more pleasurable – but I have found the kink of trying anal sex exciting in a different way – Overall peeps, don’t knock it til’ you’ve tried it right??

And fellas, it takes two to tango... if you wanna venture into that kinda play with her – she just may want to explore the depths with you too ;o) the more the merrier right??

Now run along and plug away ;o) Subscribe here, vote here, email me your topic suggestions at chicktidbits@live.ca comment and come back often!!!

Cheers xo!

Chick

Rub'n'tug...

At first I thought, what kind of guy would be attracted to the whole idea of 'actually' going to a rub'n'tug facility??? He likely wouldn't be getting much action in his 'real life', might not feel comfortable going 'all out' with the prostitution route, maybe he wants non-committal, guilt-free interaction with a woman, the kind of guy who figures he can get away with it this way, wants to get more action for less money then a stripper's lap dance would run him, the guy whose drunk buddy wants to broaden his horizons, and/or the guy who craves a little *strange* every once in a while...

So... regardless of how you end up at a rub'n'tug... a.k.a. 'massage parlour' you already know what you're getting into. You'd be hard pressed to find a 'registered massage therapist' who would show up for your massage wearing a bikini, lingerie or some sort of slinky robe - hint numero uno ;o) And, from what I've *heard* you actually DO get a massage - - I mean, on your back, for starters of course lol!! Don't plan on being shy once you roll over though, there is no foreplay or awkward conversation here - oil up the gear and get'er'done ;o)

I'm assuming the guy who would venture into a rub'n'tug would not be all that concerned about the hygiene of the place.. I mean IMAGINE the black-light artwork in one of those rooms eeeek!!! If you're naive enough to think you can't get crabs from the sheets or towels they use, you are sorely mistaken. And the girls.. or ~tuggers~ as I like to call them, are they obsessive hand washers?! They must have fantastic cuticles from using all of that oil.. How do they deal with the "happy ending" - do they aim it away from themselves? Do they clean you off afterwards? Does it cross over into more then a tuggggg?? And if the customer cannot achieve his *happy ending* does he still leave a tip??? Is there a time limit? Can you specify - no massage, I'll have the "all tug" special today please ;o)

My take... you'd be a lot better off and a lot more budget conscious if you just grabbed yourself a bottle of baby oil, lathered up and went to town!!! If you're looking for a different feel then throw on a rubber glove and name her whatever your heart desires ;o) I guarantee you you'll wind up with the same satisfied outcome in the end, more money in your wallet, less guilt on your conscience (if you are in a relationship)... and you'd feel a lot less 'used for your money' by yourself then by a rub'n'tug.

Just on a side note though... why the heck don't they have rub'n'tugs for us ladies?????? Oh.. wait, I guess I'm the only kinda gal who'd raise an eyebrow to that temptation hehe!!!

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Now run along and rub your cares away ;o)

Chick xo!

Public displays of affection....

Ahhh yes, public displays of affection - sometimes known as PDA. What is too much?? There are such varying degrees of PDA.. You have your exhibitionists who get a rush out of attracting attention from strangers. Those who would likely be out for the 'shock & awe' effect.. Versus the couple who holds hands walking down a street or gives a peck on the cheek.

There is nothing sweeter then spotting an older couple who still holds hands. However, there is a fine line as to what is considered classy and what is considered cheesy. I too, who promotes love in all it's forms have thought 'get a room' when I pass an overtly public make out session in progress. There is the train of thought that if you love someone show it however you feel it - live in the moment and I am all for that, but does that take away some of what is sacred and personal between the couple if overdone?

We've all seen the couple at the bar at the end of the night who are sloppily making out not realizing they are in plain view of the rest of the world.. and who probably don't care much about it. That IS different then a couple who shares a sweet fleeting kiss. I suppose it all comes down to what you feel and what is comfortable for you. Many people seem quite uptight about showing ANY affection in public - I am of the mindset, that if it's classy and real - then do what you feel. It's a turn on to know the person you are with is proud of it... but do I want to be up against the window of a Starbucks with his tongue down my throat while being felt up? (in fantasy - OF COURSE!!) in reality, no freaking way!! I guess my rules are classy - YES, tacky - NO.

Ya gotta let people do what they want to do... sometimes you will agree and sometimes you won't. If you are participating in PDA's then you might want to prepare yourself for commentary - put yourself out there and that's a possibility. Nothing wrong with expressing what you feel in the moment, just take into account your surroundings - you can have passionate moments without creating a scene.

For those who are disgusted by PDA's I think you have to look at the varying degrees. If hand holding isn't your thing, why is that? Are you afraid of people looking at you or are you not an affectionate person in your relationship? Regardless of how you carry yourself when you are in public with your partner - if you slip your hand into his back jeans pocket - or if you are the type who walks together but at arms length - do what feels right - you should only really judge yourself anyway.

Just a little 'hmmmm...' for ya... vote here, subscribe, email me at chicktidbits@live.ca or comment below ;o)

Cheers xo!

Chick

Valentine's Day.... my take....

Well, it's almost here again - Valentine's Day... I have so many different thoughts with regards to Valentine's Day. Sure, I'm all for celebrating your love and why not have a recognized day for it?! But... then I sorta think, if you're doing things right in your relationship you shouldn't need 'dedicated events' as a reminder to make your partner feel special. And.. what about those single friends of ours who would probably rather skip February 14th all-together... Or what if you're involved in a relationship that is going through a bad spell - then what do you make of V-day?! I'm ALL for promoting love and recognition in a relationship and in life but I hope a day like Valentine's inspires and doesn't pigeon hole merely appreciating one another on expected yearly dates.

So, assuming you are in a relationship. What are the expectations for Valentine's day? Do you agree to go out for dinner? Who makes the plans? Do you purchase gifts? Chocolates? Flowers? Jewellery? Is it an unwritten rule that sex is expected to happen? Do you buy new lingerie? Bring out the kinky play? So... suddenly Valentine's day means you need to figure out what the plans will be. Let's assume that you are n0t the type of couple who 'fakes' happiness on these types of occasions because that would make the whole situation too hollow to go through with. Gawsh this sounds like such a negative view point on Valentine's Day - in reality I think Valentine's Day can be a really nice. I think, the key to avoid any confusion is to talk about what you'd like to do to celebrate - if you choose to celebrate.

I am of the school of thought that everyday should feel like Valentine's Day if you are in the right relationship... cheesy but true, and here's my reasoning.. It doesn't mean wining & dining or spending money on gifts - it's the little things - the little ways that you show how you feel - everyday. Doing things for each other that expresses your appreciation and desire. Treating one another with the same 'special' feelings as you would on special dates such as V-day. Valentine's day type of expressions do not need to cost a fortune or be uniquely extravagant - little love notes, a text, candles at dinner instead of the norm, wearing something fun (or nothing!) to bed.. etc.. turn off the TV at night and listen to some music together.. In other words, if things are on the right track in your relationship then V-day should just be a little icing on top. It's not about who gets the biggest bouquet of roses or guys who may feel they need to bend over backwards to end up getting laid - I think, it should just be a day where you spend a little extra time appreciating what you have & being happy together.

Happy V-day all!!! Subscribe, comment, email chicktidbits@live.ca, vote.. and visit me again soon!

Cheers!

Chick xo

"Keep the fights clean & the sex dirty!!!"

When asked the key to his long & successful relationship, actor Kevin Bacon was quoted as saying "You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty" - I don't know if anyone else could hear it but inside of my head I heard a scream of glee "YESSSSS!!!" Finally somebody gets it! It's that secret that the very rare couples are able to understand, appreciate and execute ;o) This quote is enlightening considering it comes from a man who has been happily married for 20 years now!

If you can maintain your sexual attraction to one another, keep the sex you're having intriguing & spicy you will benefit by staying connected to the level of excitement that first brought you together. The thrills of sex don't have to end at the 3 month mark. Lust and desire can endure - the secret - wanting it to... After all, couples who are still having great sex are bonded on so many other levels as well. It's unlikely that you'd be having continued sex-fun with a partner who, outside of the bedroom bores you or disrespects you or who you no longer enjoy being around. A great sex life in an extended relationship is proof of the health of your compatibility.

In a Redbook article Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick give their top 5 relationship tips - all of which, I believe are intertwined and have to 'click' into place just right (hence, the rarity of happy, long term relationships)...

1. Have trust that your significant other is always going to be there with you...

2. Make time for each other - keep your relationship as a couple strong, it's the foundation on which everything is built...

3. Always take time in life for yourself. (Plus, independence is a turn on)...

4. Make your family a priority, this gives you perspective to separate the small stuff in life...

5. Be a support system for your spouse, talk, and talk a lot...


The comment about keeping the fights clean is also very key to long term success. I am always stunned at what couples will say and how they will treat each other when it comes to fights. The majority of people out there will be more demeaning & insulting to their partners then they EVER would be to a complete stranger?! It's mind boggling!!!???!!! Fights occur in the best of relationships, no doubt.. it's HOW you relate to one another that is vital. If you can learn to be constructive in your differences, speak to each other with decency and courtesy you will find that your challenges, may in fact, create an even tighter bond.


I think most everyone aims to have a relationship that they are completely fulfilled with. And everyone aims to achieve the points listed above - However, with all 'best intentions considered'.. it's truly the 'luck of the draw' as to whether or not you find the one who 'clicks' with you on every level... so, when you do, or if you have, live by the motto 'Keep the fights clean & the sex dirty!!!'

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Now run along and get y'erself some DIRTYYYY ;o)

Cheers!!

Chick xo

I always thought I had a different point of view...

Hey sistas!!! I am very thankful to have some faithful female readers (guys too!!). I am fortunate enough to be in contact with some of my readers and am ALWAYS thrilled to get any and all feedback... **hint hint.. comment, vote or email more peeps! (I listen! I listen!!)** and here's proof.. This one's for the ladies who 'may' see this blog as setting unrealistic expectations.. I say, this blog is not for setting standards - it's to create unique thoughts, tid bits that will hopefully bring more fun and excitement into your life ;o)

Sure my blog promotes the 'unique' view I have on life, love & sex. I figure, if I had the same view as 'everyone else' it might not be all that fun to read lol! My hope is to induce thought outside of the box, create conversation, engage the playful side of every one's life. I don't want men to read the blog and think 'I wish I had that' or women to read it and think 'I'd never want that'.. but I do want to spark the question to each person of what 'you' can do to make your relationship more fun to make the MOST of your sex life and to enjoy the person you are with. The kinky suggestions or thoughts are what *I* think about... create your own fun & fantasy - This blog is to inspire that not create false expectations.

Always look at what you put in vs what you want to take away from a relationship. If you are missing passion, put in an effort to be as passionate as possible. If you are unhappy, figure out what YOU can do to make your situation better. Take ownership.. and come here often... for a laugh... for some tips... for a unique view. I always knew my view point was different when it came to sex and love. I'm here to celebrate that instead of hide it. Give the relationship you want in return.. so much is within our control and all to many times we allow our disappointment to set on our partner.. and that is no solution. I've been told so many times that I 'think like a guy' when it comes to certain things ;o) Maybe, just maybe I could create a medium for women to read this blog and hear a different side of what their men aren't quite explaining.


Vote, email me at chicktidbits@live.ca, comment, subscribe - and thank you for taking the time to read.. whether you shake your head, laugh, write down suggestions word for word.. whatever?!? Everyone is welcome to pull up a chair, even if you're not wearing heels ;o)


Chick xo!!

Is your sexual schedule in sync?...

In the beginning, sex was EVERYTHING!!! All encompassing and ALWAYS in the forefront. No time, was a bad time for sex. Any chance you had alone was an opportunity to PLAY.. and play you did!!

Sometimes, it ends there and for whatever reason sex was the only thing that you had. Sometimes it goes on longer and develops into a real relationship. Well, as your relationship develops changes in your sex life seem to be inevitable. The question I pose is this.. is it impossible to hold fast to those initial *freaky-deaky* days? Maybe I'm the last one around to believe it's possible - but do you know why that is? Because I WANT it that way...yes, still ;o)

Some people schedule 'date nights' (a.k.a. she gets dinner out and he gets laid). I kinda think the spontaneity is lacking when it comes to a scheduled date night. I mean, even if you have kids at home and find it difficult to have time alone.. there ARE WAYS.. go for a drive - park the car and hop in back ;o) Put a lock on your bedroom door.. have a coffee later in the day if you find yourself too tired for sex at the end of a busy day. Doesn't anyone else look at sex after a long day as a reward anymore? It's a release, it will help you sleep, and it FEELS GOOD!!! However, much of the problem is that too many people view sex as 'work' and that will only kill any hint of a sexual appetite.

So, somehow you manage to find some time for sex even for the busiest of schedules. What happens when your partner isn't 'feeling it'??? If your desire or frequency cravings are off it's something you may want to pay attention to. Is it causing you to have sex a lot less then you want it? Sometimes planning a sex date isn't all it's cracked up to be. The same is true in reverse, if you expect sex all the time it can be a turn off for your partner. My suggestion is TALK, TALK AND MORE TALK. Just because you are in a relationship together doesn't mean you will always agree - but the key is to find a common ground where both people feel satisfied. If that means you give a little, then give a little.. but don't give to the point where you put your wants & needs too far behind.

Pay attention to how things are when you do have sex. If you are having infrequent sex and it's not exciting well that IS a problem. If you find that times you do come together are still worth the wait in between, then that is a GOOD thing. If you have sex frequently ensure that's what your partner desires as well and lead the charge in keeping things fresh to avoid a feeling where sex could lose it's edge.

Point is, both people need to be on the same path. Desire in the bedroom translates into desire for each other in your everyday life. Pay attention to it, because just assuming it will be there is risky. Appreciate what you have and keep the feeling front and centre that you want to be the one to make your partner the happiest, most loved, and appreciated - especially in your sex life. After all, that's what makes your relationship sacred from all others.

Email any suggestions to chicktidbits@live.ca, questions are welcome too! Vote, subscribe & visit often.

Scrap the sex calenders - if you are paying close enough attention to each other - you won't need them. Make sex a priority - keep it special - everyone wants that skip in their step ;o)

Cheers!
Chick xo