Okay so this is one of my biggest rules of dating & relating... Never.. N-E-V-E-R.. ever reunite with someone you were once in a relationship with. We all know someone who has done this, or we ourselves have - those couples who are 'on again - off again' - 'break up then get back together' - the ones who explain the length of their relationship as "well, all together we've been together ***, minus the break ups of course." WHAT IS THAT?!?
Now, I'm not merely talking arguments here.. because EVERYONE has their differences and their fights - that's normal, that's life. (For the couple who you think doesn't ever fight - they lie!). Disagreements however, are different - they do NOT cross the line. When the words 'we're over, we're through, I don't want to be with you anymore, I'm done with this, I don't love you anymore, etc... are uttered - don't plan on calling the bluff. Why???? Because whatever gut-wrenching pain it may induce is guaranteed to be so much worse the next time it happens - and mark my words - it WILL happen again. Another clue, if you have not reconnected in some form within 24 hours of a fight - consider that a huge warning sign - the easier it is to be apart in times of struggle the more likely it is that the torment will repeat and be worse the next time around.
What happens when you've broken up, your friends & family have made their opinions of your dreadful ex known.. how do you (and your reunited partner) plan on dealing with that side of things as you plan on trying again. Now, don't kid yourself - I am fully supportive of giving a relationship every chance to survive and thrive - but a hard and fast rule of mine is that I do not break up and get back together again. It's an important topic to discuss with your partner, so that you are taken seriously if he/she ever considers walking away - that they should be sure before crossing the line.
If you are reading this and have experienced heart ache - believe me when I tell you - you ARE better off without that person. No one should feel they aren't worthy of being with a partner who WANTS to be there. Difficult as moving on may be, take it as a lesson and BELIEVE that you are no longer wasting time with the wrong person... which means, the right person is even closer to your door step! If you are the one who initiates the break up - don't fall into old routines just for security's sake. If you let go - do everyone a favour and don't play both sides of the fence. Bottom line for everyone involved, you break up for a REASON and a one time break is always enough.
Stay strong... move along ;o)
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