Foreplay... NO, dinner reservations are NOT required and YES a woman should initiate as well...

To me, foreplay begins when the kissing increases your heart-rate or sexual contact of some kind is made. However, one good kiss or one quick *squeeze* doesn't cut it - it's the continual sexual contact preceding penetration.

This is not about being wined & dined.. although those things are nice and can help to 'set a scene' - is this an effort that ONLY a man should make? Any effort of this sort should be about enjoying your time together - it should never be a requirement for sex or considered as necessary foreplay.

I once heard a reference by a man that he put in the 'required 20 minutes of foreplay'... mmm.. fun.. contrived.. time filling.. hardly tempting. Who TIMES these things??? Really??? And if a guy is thinking it's 'required' instead of 'desired' then he's the one likely doing all of the 'work'. Truly, if he was enjoying the b.j. of his dreams, I doubt he'd notice whether it was a 10 minute jobbie or a 30 minute jaw breaker ;o) Both parties have to make an effort here... at the same time, NOT keep score. Foreplay's purpose is to induce arousal - for both of you.

Some days the foreplay might seem wonderfully endless if you have hours to spare.. other times, when you're hurried, a french kiss and sliding into home may be what the moment calls for. Point is.. if foreplay is planned - it's not going to be as enjoyable for either of you. If you are with a partner who won't put in the effort that you desire... try giving that effort first (giving what you get) and see if you 'get' in return.. if not, that may tell you something. Touching and warming up should be 'interactive' not simply reactive on either side.

Foreplay is not doing the dishes for her or not complaining when he goes golfing. It's when none of those things are even on your mind. It is well beyond that.. When you're in the zone.. the tip of the ice burg.. the pre-game.. if you will.

So, get creative - enjoy finding the spots that make your partner's toes twitch ;o) *give what you get*.... and hopefully there's more 'gettin' in your future!

I'd love to hear your comments or answer questions for advice chicktidbits@live.ca

Cheers!!