Okay, so consider this just an 'initial' touch on the subject. I found myself reading an article this morning about a 'self proclaimed expert' giving dating advise to men. LET ME SAY THIS... I can only hope and PRAY that it doesn't take the men who subscribe to such teachings, too long to realize they've wasted valuable time and money. Take a look at the link for the 'advise' I'm referring to - and then remind yourself, NEVER to do these things.
Alright, now that sad mess is out of the way.. let's get down to business. First of all, I believe men need to be comfortable in their own skin. In my humble opinion, a man who isn't being true to himself isn't putting his BEST self forward - for example.. The guy who dresses up to go 'clubbing' - is that REALLY what he likes to wear? Don't get me wrong, you should go out looking and feeling YOUR best - as long as that is truly YOU. Most girls are quite pleased to meet a guy in a clean (untorn) shirt and jeans. Think about it.. isn't it the same for guys? Don't you find women who are a little more 'relaxed' and at ease with their choice of clothing more approachable then those in the fish net stockings, bustier style tops and heels to the gills?? Yeah.. just remember relaxed and approachable can be stylish if done right. Please, save yourself from the skin-tight fitted tops - really. So, it's somewhere in the middle - avoiding the old running shoes with shreaded laces.. but also not having the latest 'teen fad' names on your clothing. Wear what best (key is *best*) represents you.
If we're talking the bar scene I suggest taking a 'give it a shot' and 'be yourself' plan. If you have spotted someone you find appealing (because you won't know if you like them until they speak) become a part of their line of vision. Make some eye contact.. not enough to be scary, but enough so they know you are 'noticing' them. If you have a drink in hand and you get a smile or look in return - give a smile back, a little 'cheers' signal - I can't say exactly 'what to do' because every situation is different - but you can take this to the bank - if she keeps smiling - she's also intrigued by you. Whether or not you end up dancing near her so a conversation can start.. or find yourself ordering a drink beside her at the bar.. be nice, be easy.. ask an open ended question 'is that a good drink?' - TRUST ME, you'll know by the answer you get whether or not you've got an opening. And.. if you don't.. guess what, don't waste your time - NEXT!! - Keep that chin up, because there will ALWAYS be a NEXT ;o)
Remember, a girl who indicates she wants you to buy her a drink - is use to that. A girl who is of any worth DOESN'T require that to spend time with you. See how long the girls stick around when you just make conversation instead of buying drinks. If you get a good chat going - by all means, buying a drink is kind - but don't over-do it, one is enough. Conversation BEFORE drinks, not drinks before conversation.
If you are at work it's a little easier.. you can always talk about 'work' and make mention of some great movie you just saw or want to see or something about yourself (not TMI tho lol!!). You'll know quickly if she wants to know more about 'you' or if the convo remains work focused.
Meeting people can happen anywhere.. it's all about tossing the nerves aside and just striking up a conversation. How would you talk to a new person at work or someone new you meet on your hockey team? Talk the same way to a woman - because that's who you really are - women can see through 'attempts to impress' like glass - and quite frankly, it's tacky. Besides, being yourself makes you more likely to meet someone who you can genuinely enjoy - without that useless 3 month 'I'm impressing you stage' bull shit. Nothing sucks more then feeling duped. And most of the chicks flaunting it at the clubs end up not being all that you may think they are cracked up to be anyway... save yourself ;o)
Go to places that you enjoy.. hockey games.. concerts.. etc. The possibility of finding someone with similar interests is always better that way. Plus, you won't be 'LOOKING' or trying so much.. at the same time you do things that you like - which will make you happy - and attract people to you in itself.
Wow.. was that a rant or what?? Questions, advise, comments are always welcome firstname.lastname@example.org
Signing off in stilettos!
A little somethin' new to think about...
Welcome to the blog of a chick who feels best while strutting in heels ;o)