A little somethin' new to think about...

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Losing friends via divorce...

Never, did I EVER think it would happen to me. My friends were CLOSE.. I mean like SISTERS to me. They saw my wounds from a loveless marriage. They endured the pain with me.. they consoled me.. they empathized.. they AGREED that I had to get out. I had three sister-like friends - closer then close.. people I thought I would know well into my 90's. One I had known for almost 30 years, another for 20 and the final 'sister-friend' I had been inseparable with for 10 years. We experienced so much together - growing up.. getting married.. having babies.. having marital issues.. and yes, I was the only one who went through with leaving. Biggest balls in the bunch! And lovingly, they would have agreed with that sentiment. Out of these three sister-friends.. only one now remains. Sad.. isn't it.. people told me that would happen and I still didn't believe it could be.

These sister-friends knew my pain inside & out. They knew that my spirit would endure all that would come with regards to leaving my marriage. They clearly saw it.. everything that was so wrong. I dug deep, I saw a very bright light at the end of the tunnel and I knew the ones I loved most would be there waiting for me and seeing me through. And now.. there is one..

Then two sister-friends turned their backs once I was out.. once the dust had settled and I had moved on with my new life - and they saw that I was happy.. that I was decent towards my ex-husband.. that I was making the best life for my children and myself.. THIS is when they turned. Were they jealous that I got out and bettered my life as I said that I would??? Were they unable to accept that I had a new man who was everything I'd dreamed of?? Those who know me best know that I love intensely, that I am all-giving.. but cross me and cut me one too many times and I will never give you a second thought. I do expect to get what I give.. and you know what, we all should.. I expect the people I allow to get THAT close to be there for me as intensely and loyally as I would be for them. Why should there be any exceptions to that?

I can say, with everything I have been through.. I do not harbour any regrets. I hold my head high and still feel that burning spirit inside that will carry me through. For those who choose to judge me or cause me pain.. I know you will feel the void of my friendship. It will be a lesson.

And now, I hold tightly and ever more appreciatively to my closest friends.. I keep faith in myself that I will live my best life without allowing negative opinions to influence me.. and be proud that I've found the strength to do so.

So, if you find you are a friend of someone who is enduring separation or divorce.. listen.. be supportive.. it's THEIR life.. and you are their friend.. treat them as you would want to be treated and supported in return. Opinions and judgements aside - however, that's a recipe for a good friendship regardless of what one may be going through.


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Cheers xo!

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